The one day a year the company that yeets everything asks you to put it down gently.
A charity golf classic presented by Yeeterprise, benefiting the Foundation for the Study of Restraint. Eighteen holes, one sanctioned throw, and a trophy for whoever keeps their driver on the ground the longest.
Apex National · Terminal Velocity, AZ
Championship bentgrass, water in play, and one lake we have agreed not to discuss.
About the Classic
For three hundred and sixty-four days a year, Yeeterprise is in the business of governed downward force. We model the arc. We forecast the apex. We attest to ground contact. We throw with total confidence and full documentation.
The Ground Contact Classic is the other day. Once a year we gather our customers, partners, and Trajectory Specialists on eighteen immaculate holes and ask them to do the hardest thing our platform has ever measured: set the club down gently, and walk to the next tee. It is the only Yeeterprise event where restraint is the entire scoreboard — and every dollar goes to the Foundation that keeps our regret number at zero.
"We have spent a decade teaching the world how to throw things correctly. The Classic is where we remember that the highest form of the discipline is choosing not to." — from the tournament program
Format
Standard scramble rules, plus the four amendments that make it a Yeeterprise event.
The tournament opens with a single ceremonial first-ball yeet by the reigning champion. It is the only sanctioned throw of the day. Everything after it must be struck, placed, or gently conceded.
Separate from the Cup. Awarded to the foursome that throws the fewest clubs in frustration. Historically a fiercely contested category. Last year's winners threw two — a course record for composure.
Every bag is instrumented by Trajectory Cloud. Any club that leaves a hand unplanned is logged, arc-modeled, and attributed. You will see your own numbers at the turn. They will not flatter you.
Each hole is staffed by a certified Do-Not-Yeet Marshal, empowered to flag any object improperly airborne — clubs, scorecards, tempers, and, on the water holes, phones.
The Course
A championship layout with a few holes that carry, let's say, corporate significance.
A forced carry over the same body of water that inspired registry entry DNY-0007. Drop zone provided. Your handset is not insured past the red stakes.
The signature hole. A dogleg so severe our Regret Analyst was consulted during the design. There is no listed par. We do not discuss the par. The par is closed.
An island green named in honor of an incident we have agreed, as a company, never to reopen. Bring extra sleeves. Do not, under any circumstances, yeet anything living toward the pin.
The finishing hole. A downhill par 5 that resolves, appropriately, at the lowest point on the property. Everything on this course, and arguably in this company, ends up here.
| # | Hole | Par | Yards |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Sanctioned Start | 4 | 402 |
| 2 | Backspin | 4 | 431 |
| 3 | The Drop Zone | 3 | 188 |
| 4 | The Water Hazard Phones-Over-Water™ | 3 | 172 |
| 5 | Long Iron | 5 | 553 |
| 6 | The Dogleg | 4 | 415 |
| 7 | Regret † | 4† | 447 |
| 8 | Closest to the Pin | 3 | 165 |
| 9 | The Turn | 5 | 520 |
| OUT | 35 | 3,293 | |
| 10 | Reload | 4 | 410 |
| 11 | The Cart Path | 5 | 565 |
| 12 | Marshal's Watch | 4 | 395 |
| 13 | The Aquarium | 4 | 415 |
| 14 | Apex | 4 | 452 |
| 15 | Fairway Compliance | 4 | 405 |
| 16 | The Sponsor's Hole | 4 | 430 |
| 17 | Sudden Silence | 3 | 175 |
| 18 | Ground Contact | 5 | 548 |
| IN | 37 | 3,795 | |
| TOTAL | 72 | 7,088 |
† The 7th's par is under permanent review and is carried at a provisional 4 for scoring purposes. See the Regret Policy. Course rating: aspirational. Slope: down.
Last year
The 2025 Ground Contact Cup, and the Restraint Trophy that everyone actually wants.
| Pos | Foursome | To par | Clubs thrown |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 🏆 | Ground Truth | −14 | 6 |
| 2 | The Apex Predators | −11 | 9 |
| 3 | Par for the Yeet | −9 | 4 |
| 4 | Terminal Velocity CC | −7 | 17 |
| 5 | The Downward Dogs | −5 | 11 |
| — | Regret Analytics Restraint Trophy 🛡️ | +2 | 2 |
| DQ | The Mulligan Compliance Team yeeted a cart | — | 31 |
The Mulligan Compliance Team's disqualification remains under review by a different department. Not our incident.
On the course
Three sanctioned side events, each governed by the marshals.
Ace the 8th and win a full year of Managed Yeeting for your household, plus a commemorative spot on the Do-Not-Yeet registry under your own name. Un-yeetable for life.
Send it as far as the fairway allows — then, per policy, gently set the club down. Measured by Trajectory Cloud to the centimeter. Ties broken by lowest regret.
Over the water that inspired DNY-0007. Nearest the flag without a splash takes the crystal apex trophy. Phones stay in the cart.
The cabinet
Three years, three teams who struck more than they threw.
−14 · a wire-to-wire clinic in composure. Six clubs thrown, all forgivable.
−12 · won on the 18th at Ground Contact, appropriately, in near-total darkness.
−8 · the inaugural champions. Played the entire round with the original office printer in the cart.
Sponsors
Yeeterprise™| Tier | Investment | What's included |
|---|---|---|
| Cart Path | $2,500 | Logo on a cart · program listing · a mulligan pack. Your mark on a vehicle that is, eventually, gently set down. |
| Fairway | $6,000 | A sponsored hole with signage · one foursome entry · a banner at the turn. |
| Green Jacket | $15,000 | Two foursomes · a hole and a cart · your logo on every scorecard · a marshal in your colors. |
| Presenting | Let's talk | Naming across the Ground Contact Cup · the ceremonial first-yeet honors · everything above, and then some. |
The cause
Net proceeds from the Classic fund the Yeeterprise Foundation for the Study of Restraint — the independent body that maintains the Do-Not-Yeet registry, trains the marshals, and publishes the annual research on what must never be thrown. It is unglamorous, essential work, and it is the reason our regret number has stayed where it belongs.
See what your ticket protects →Day of
Reserve your team. Includes greens fees, cart, telemetry, lunch, and one (1) forgivable club throw per player.
Put your throwing-forward brand on a hole, a cart, or the Restraint Trophy itself. Tiers from Cart Path to Presenting.
Registrations are collected client-side for this preview — nothing is sent anywhere yet.
Questions
No. That is the entire premise. There is a per-player forgivable-throw allowance because we are realists, but Trajectory Cloud logs every one, and the Restraint Trophy remembers.
Only once, ceremonially, at 7:45 AM, by the reigning champion. After that, the ball must be struck. We know it's confusing for a Yeeterprise event. That's the joke, and also the point.
Collared restraint. Soft spikes. No cleats near the Do-Not-Yeet registry booth.
One hundred percent of net proceeds fund the Foundation for the Study of Restraint, which maintains the registry that keeps our regret number at zero.
Register your foursome for the 4th Annual Ground Contact Classic, or sponsor a hole and get your brand on the one course where nobody throws anything.