← Moments in Yeetstory Field Notes

The First Governed Ascent, And The Regrettable Descent That Followed.

November 21, 1783 · 3 min read · Moments in Yeetstory

A payload that insisted on going up first is, by our ledger, a yeet filed out of order.

Period engraving of the Montgolfier balloon, 1783

On the twenty-first of November, in the year 1783, over the rooftops of Paris, two men were placed into a wicker basket beneath a great envelope of heated air and released from the ground. Our compliance desk has reviewed the incident at length, and finds itself, as it so often does with the eighteenth century, admiring the courage while flagging the paperwork.

The Montgolfier brothers had built the apparatus. The men aboard, Pilatre de Rozier and the Marquis d'Arlandes, were the payload. This is the essential difficulty. Yeeterprise exists to govern the descent of objects toward the ground. The Montgolfier device was designed, with some enthusiasm, to do the opposite.

We classify any ascent as a Stage 0 event: the deliberate accumulation of altitude that a compliant throw must later spend. The brothers accumulated roughly three thousand feet of it, over open city, with a fire burning beneath a linen bag. No ground-contact certificate can be issued for a payload still gaining height.

And yet. The desk is not without appreciation. What distinguishes this flight from mere hazard is that the descent, when it finally came, was controlled. The fire was managed. The basket settled. The payload disembarked and walked away, which is the entire point of everything we do.

A payload that lands intact forgives a great deal of what it did on the way up.

Contemporaries noted that embers threatened the envelope during flight, and that the passengers beat them out with sponges. We would characterize this as an unmodeled contingency addressed through improvisation, which is another way of saying no one had written the procedure yet because no one had ever needed it.

The precedent set here is not the ascent, which any hot bag of air will attempt. The precedent is the negotiated return: the notion that a human being lifted from the ground has a contractual right to be set back upon it, gently, at a time and place of intention rather than accident.

Compliance verdict: Filed as a governed descent preceded by an ungoverned ambition. The apex was reached without a forecast and vacated without incident, which we score as luck maturing into competence. Ground contact certified retroactively. Universally regretted only by those who wished it had gone higher.

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